did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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