Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
