so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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