I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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