I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
