What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
