I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
