it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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