Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
