he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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