Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
