I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
