Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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