I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
