Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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