Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize