Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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