Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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