Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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