I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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