Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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