i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
