did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
