No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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