I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
