She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Shame - the story of my life.
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