i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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