I like my sex mixed with concussions.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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