Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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