i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
