Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
