I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
