So gin and wine won't be happening again
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
