also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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