You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
