he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
