I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles