I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
