He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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