Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
