im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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