Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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