wanna go halves on a baby?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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