I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
