is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
