they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
