Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
