Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That accounts for only three of the penises
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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