I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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