If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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