I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
