thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
