sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
50% drunk capacity currently
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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