how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
