i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
