i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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