So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
