Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
