May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
