I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
