apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
