I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
